How to ... restGuy Browning
Saturday February 10, 2007
The Guardian Napping is a beautiful thing. There's something about getting into bed during the day that is profoundly sinful and heavenly at the same time. Some people are a bit embarrassed about this and try to pretend they're having "power naps". Under the iron duvet, presumably.
When most people did manual labour, resting was all about putting your feet up. If you work at a computer all day, resting means putting your feet down, normally on a treadmill at the gym. Ideally, everyone should have a nap after lunch. However, this can be difficult if you have lunch at your desk, unless you have an extremely large and soft desk.
When there are a lot of demands on you, it's very hard to rest. The trick is to weave another task into your day that looks like a job but is, in fact, rest. At home, this could be "dusting", in the office "budgeting", or at school "media studies".
Having a 10-minute rest allows you to catch your breath. A day's rest allows you to catch up with your shopping. But a month's rest allows you to catch up with your life. To do this, simply find a volunteer to work twice as hard for that month.
Instead of resting, we often go on holiday. These "holidays" generally pack in more than ordinary days, so we often need to rest when we get back. That's why people at work who have just come back from holiday move incredibly slowly and can't talk.
Teenagers have a special type of resting called festering. This uses the duvet as a kind of hormonal oven to produce deep-fried feelings of alienation that can then be consumed for the rest of the day instead of vegetables.
Actors who are out of work are said to be resting. In fact, actors work harder when they're resting than when they're working, which is quite literally playing. Retirement from work is always tricky because you're forced to rest. This can be as soul-destroying as forced labour. It also increases to catastrophic levels your consumption of tea and biscuits.
They say that a change is as good as a rest, but if you follow the logic, it also means that a rest is as good as a change. So why not forget about changing and just have a little rest instead?